First of all, I dedicate this post to my family and all of
my friends at PDKK Binus.
Since the past year, I’ve been dealing with many things with
my newest chapter in life, which is college. I am currently majoring in
Interior design, and it has been enjoyable but hectic at the same time due to
the amount of assignments that we were given every week. Before college, I was
not someone who was active in religious communities/organizations, even though
my parents are very active and they serve God through their respective
communities. I honestly didn’t remember why I wanted to join a religious
community, but I did anyway. The community started their weekly service 3-4
weeks before classes actually started, which meant I was not in the dorms yet.
Despite the heavy traffic and it was quite a distance from my home to college
(around 20 km) yet I came to just join their weekly service. Since I was new,
but then familiar with the Catholic Charismatic Movement, I felt a sort of
fondness and wanted to return the following week. When I first started coming,
I only had 1-2 friends of the same entry year who I still stayed in contact
till today. Then when weeks went by, I met more wonderful people who are also
of the same entry year, who now have become the closest people around me. I
made friends with seniors too along the way, I was scared at first, but then
due to their kindness, I felt comfortable and became fonder of the community.
2 weeks before December of 2017, the leader of the
community, asked my friends and I if we could make time on the weekends for a
retreat that is part of our initiation if we wanted to serve God through that
community. I was really happy about that, but then I was not allowed to go
because I had classes on Saturday. I ended up not going and I was filled with
sadness and at that time, also with envy because all my friends who came after
me went to the retreat, and I was the only one who didn’t. Even though I didn’t
end up going, I was initiated to serve there, as one of the main committees, I
was the only exception. I was really thankful to God for that, but then, the
“not-going-to-team-retreat” was all over my head and it made me feel lonely
because I felt a distance (or maybe made myself a distance) from my friends. The
first few months were rough for me because I was new, I did not pray that much
(I am sorry), but then when I finally had the courage to forgive myself for my
condition, to accept how the system works and to be thankful for how God
allowed me to serve even with my shortcomings, I felt the weight on my
shoulders start to decrease bit by bit, because I know nothing in this world
can be received instantly. I was involved in a short relationship but then
somehow it crushed me after it ended. I hit rock bottom, and I was back to when
I can’t forgive myself, which took a toll on everyone. I was a very angry
person; I couldn’t see the good in anything.
I was given the chance to go to God’s Holy land, and through
that trip, I started to open my heart to forgive. That was not the only
blessing that God gave me; God placed such great people around me, who kept on
reminding that God never leaves us, and that God’s plan is always the best one,
but we have to be patient and to never stop believing in Him. I couldn’t see it
back then, since at difficult times, it’s hard to focus on our blessings
instead of our problems. But now when I
look back, I couldn’t be more grateful for what God has given me. When I feel
down again, I like to think of a blessing as something to hang on to, a
reminder that God loves me. I have served God through PDKK Binus for almost a
year now, and I have decided to serve Him for another year and many more years
to come. I am grateful for all my friends in PDKK Binus who has become my inner
circle throughout this entire year. This community not only teaches me how to
partake in an organization, but also to value family, friendship, and also to
love God with all of your heart. Through PDKK Binus, my relationship with my
family gets better day by day, and I am very grateful for my family’s
never-ending support for me to continue serving God through PDKK Binus. Even
though we sometimes have misunderstandings, in the end we are still a family!
I’ve always wondered why I didn’t want to serve God through
the church that was located near my house. But when I think again, I guess that’s
how God called me, not to be somewhere near my comfort zone, but then in the
middle of my hectic schedule, to see if I would want to make time for Him or
not.
Thank you so much for this year PDKK Binus, my second
family! Let’s serve God together next year and many years to come. <3
I love you guys so much! <3 please
continue to pray for me, as your prayers have also helped me get through
everything with God. J
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